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A Kitchen for Christmas

Two weeks before Christmas 2023, this hand painted kitchen project sent us travelling south to St Albans. The Kitchen Paintress (aka Sharon) and myself, had one week to complete this project as the client was moving in by Christmas. It was part of a full house renovation/conversion and the kitchen is a custom made Charles Yorke kitchen, supplied and fitted by Cooks and Company of Newark.

Although the installation of the kitchen went according to plan, the house was going to be full of other trades, scrambling to get done and meet their own completion dates, not quite the poetic situation we had hoped for during this festive season but we thought if St Nick can deliver all his Christmas pressies in one night! Then we can deliver St Albans in one week, on time, within budget and ready for the big day! So off we went…

The house was chaos; Plumbers, Electricians, Joiners, Decorators then the flooring guys turned up to screed the floor. Oh and the main Builder / Site Manager. There was no heating or light either at this point, only portable halogen lights.

Monday – We take all the doors off to paint and end up stacking them on our portable racks on top of the central island, so the floor fitters can lay the screed. The quartz tops are fitted Friday, No pressure then!

Tuesday – This hand painted kitchen was not only going to test our patience but our abilities too. We persevered. However, when we arrived this morning, some of the surface mounted skirting had been ripped off because the plumber forgot to connect some pipe work to the sink! Patience is starting to fray. We manage to get all the prep work done and a primer coat on. Ready for the first top coat tomorrow.

Wednesday – This is “break its back day or ours“! We need to get a top coat on everything, including both sides of the doors and drawers. The electrics still not on but the Sparkies are onnit! One of the joiners is constructing a TV media unit across from us and two guys have turned up to fit the log burner. (No Santa coming to this house then) We need a dust free environment but it isn’t happening! Sharon is as cool as a cumber… I’m about ready to loose it!!!

That long day is finally over and we head back to our digs. Christmas is coming and so are the quartz worktops and the client is moving in on Friday. Eeeeeeeeekk!

Thursday – Judgement Day! The site manager has been and lets say negotiated terms with the other trades to give us a fighting chance of completing the kitchen painting by tomorrow.

Christmas 2023 in Welwyn

The final coat is applied and we decide (Shazza and I) to have a well earned break that evening and have our Christmas works party whilst on tour, hahahaha… We are lodging in the beautiful village of Welwyn about 7 miles from the job. So, a nice relaxed meal and a bottle of plonk in a local eatery, went down well.

TFI Friday! – Final day and handover day. We leave our accommodation and just 5 mins into our journey we are stuck! A lorry has over turned and shed its load of plaster board all over the main carriageway we are travelling on. 4 hours later we arrive on site. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagghhhhhhhh!

Fortunately the worktop guys wasn’t travelling in the same direction and all the tops were now fitted. All that’s left is for us to re-fit the doors and the hardware, the shelves and the glass in the glazed cabinets. Easy right? We finish at 9.00 that evening.

Hand painted kitchen St Albans

The client arrives early Friday evening, they are delighted with the job and ready to move in. We have a 2 hour drive back to Nottingham, so its tools on the van, tidy up, final checks and away we go! Yeahhh! Given this festive time of year, I decided to write a Christmas Poem to summarise this past week.

A Christmas Poem

Twas the fort-night before Christmas and all through the house, every tradesman was working including me and the spouse! (aka Sharon) The chimney now gone! Taken down with great care, in hopes that the plasterers soon would be there; other trades still sleeping away in their beds, whilst visions of finishing danced in their heads; With Sharon in her dungarees and me in my hat, we mixed up the paint, ready to attack! There were plumbers and sparkies and painters a plenty! We stood and pondered, will this kitchen ever be empty? When suddenly out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, the floor layers were here but that didn't matter. Then what to my wondering eyes should appear, But Mick the site manager with a full crate full of beer! Clip board in hand he whistled and shouted, calling out names as he chunted: Now, Bazza! now Gazza! now Shazza and Vic's son! On, Colin! on, Kuhmar! on, Derrick and Christian! Some paint the porch and some build that wall! Get all of that rubbish out of the hall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all! The job was chaotic and filled us with fear but what kept us going was that crate of beer! 
Now Mick the site manager was a funny old chap, he was dressed in Hi Viz from his head to his foot - His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry, probably from drinking far too much sherry! His droll little mouth with teeth like a bow-saw and in one corner what looked like a cold sore. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf. And I laughed each time I saw him, in spite of myself;
Now laying his finger aside of his nose, giving a nod, out the boarded up front door he rose. So Mick left the job and climbed back in his truck, there was a sigh of relief and a great big thank F***! Now in his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew for a pint down the Pig & Whistle.
The job now done, the house all neat, it’s been total chaos but turned out just great! 

Now Sharon and I, we had finished our shift, so northbound M1 we thought we should drift. Back in the van our sleigh for the night, singing to Mariah as we drove out of sight!
”A Merry Christmas to all, and to all good night!”